Mucha Para Pensar

Monday was our first day with the kids at Escuela Especial.   We were greeted with some of the biggest smiles and most embracing hugs I have encountered in my life, tied for 1^st place with the children in Cambodia.  Every one of our five students, Jen, and I were in love immediately.   Lisa Marie has already fallen into this deep well of love, and shall not return any time soon.  Arriving at this school is similar to a large homecoming after being absent from your loved ones’ presence for quite some time.  The feeling that warms your heart and frees your soul.  Suddenly I had no worries about my life and responsibilities at home, and was soon to discover an entirely new world of quandaries.

After the first session of hugs at Escuela Especial, Kevin and I arrived in our assigned classroom, only to be warmed to the soul once more.  Yohaska, la maestra de grado segundo, and 8 brilliantly smiling faces greeted us. Kevin and I were quickly introduced to one of the most powerful personalities in the room: Yoysi.  Yoysi is larger than life and LOVES the boys.  I’m not quite sure if one would be trampled by her without clearing her path, but I have definitely witnessed some body checks.   That said, her eyes sparkle with her smile and the love that radiates from her is endless.  Even when she's scolding me for - well I’m not usually aware of my wrongdoing - I can still feel an aura of love surrounding her.  I have found that the look and feeling I receive when we work together is truly priceless.  Kevin and I also met Maura, Erikson, Ramon, Conchita, Lucelia, Jose Luis, Marling, Karlita, and Karolina.  These unique names and faces will not soon be forgotten; I expect to long for these faces in the months to come.

The first few minutes of the day were consumed with introductions.  While Kevin introduced himself and became the new desire of the ladies, especially la Conchita, Yojaska and I reviewed all disabilities and needs with each student.  One of her most pressing concerns was for el Jose Luis.  She is trying to figure out if Jose Luis has a severe cognitive disability or Autism.  While I am thankful that these students with disabilities have a place to go on a daily basis, they do not receive instruction or therapy for a specified disability because many cases remain undetermined.  The term “retardo” is commonly used to refer to most students.  While I understand the meaning in Espanol, it continues to hurt my heart every time I hear it.  I could discuss these cases until the cows come home, but without knowing a full history of the students, their family story, and daily observations (for an extended period of time), I cannot give definitive answers to the teachers in this school.  This is difficult for a data-driven educator to understand what exactly each student needs without understanding the disability and having more time to observe.  Yojaska is amazing, and does what she can for these students.  She is calm, collected, and motherly when crayons are flying across the room, students are leaving, and far too many undetermined noises are happening simultaneously. 

Students in the aulas at Escuela Especial are of differing ages and abilities, similar to Special Education classrooms in the Estados Unidos, but here there are no TA’s, no requirements by law to assist children, and absolutely no training for Special Education.  Teachers that work in these classrooms are simply the most patient regular educators to be found.   They desperately want to learn teaching methods, gain ideas, and better understand ways in which to help these students.  This is when the frustration sets in; how are the students to be helped?  I am thankful that this population has a school to go to, rather than being ignored at home and seen as a curse.  However, there could be so much more learning happening in this school with the correct training and more people to assist the students who need one on one.  We have a long way to go, but at least Children’s Global Alliance is a great start.

Monday was a thoughtful day for me; I left with a million ideas of what could be improved at Escuela Especial.  It is an overwhelming thought; where does it end?  While talking with my team of do-gooders, I found myself expressing that there is no way to ensure safety for all students unless there is a government incentive and consequence for the schools and families (there are small fines for cleanliness, but I’m guessing this isn’t enforced regularly, especially in el campo). The amazing teachers we have met are doing what they can, but have no support or training.  It wasn’t long ago that the United States was in the same boat.  To ensure that students with disabilities were not abused and attended school, laws came into play.  It wasn’t until the 1970’s, though, that students with disabilities were required to receive a “Free and Appropriate Education.”  I believe it was the late sixties, but didn’t really come in full bore until the mid seventies, as this shift in thought takes a while to catch on.  It is interesting to see the same paradigm shift happening before our eyes here in Rivas.  It is exciting to be part of this change.  Thank you.  Thank you to the ever-giving Lisa Marie for creating Children’s Global Alliance, my always supportive family and friends to help me get here, Vail valley businesses and community support, and a thank you to our loving students who WANTED to come here and make a difference.  This story shall continue….

First Day of School

I have butterflies in my stomach!  For those of you who don’t know what I/We’ve been up to, we arrived In Managua, Nicaragua on Friday night, and to Rivas around midnight.  By “we,” I once again mean Lisa Marie, Jen, 5 wonderful students, and myself.  Students working with CGA all complete a process beginning with an essay and interview.  After this, all students have varying responsibilities to make this happen, including a ton of fundraising. 

Here in Rivas we will be helping and teaching at Escuela Especial Sor Maria Romero.  We cleaned the school on Saturday and prepared supplies and care packages for each student yesterday.  The school consists of 84 students with varying disabilities – some known and some unknown.  I could not sleep last night due to the excitement of meeting these students today.  I have already heard so much about them that I am itching to get in there.

During my sleepless, night, I wrote this: 

Tomorrow is the big day - our first day working at Escuela Especial.  Nerves and excitement are getting the best of me, even though I should definitely be sleeping.  I want to know everything ahorita, and be as prepared as humanly possible, but know it is a task to be learned on the spot. 

After a day of preparing care packages of rice, beans, soap, pasta, toothbrushes, toothpaste, laundry detergent, and the like, with only a minor bean mix-up, everyone shall go home from school a happy camper.  During our hours of sorting supplies and packing these gift bags, I observed a collective excitement among our students.  During all of the commotion, counting, sorting, piling, measuring, and packing, I heard comments such as:

“I can’t wait for the kids to see these bags, they will be so excited”

“Do we actually get to hand out these packages?”

“Their families will be so grateful!”

“How many people can eat from this supply?”

Among the excitement about the care packages for each child came many curiosities, such as what the heck this oddly shaped soap is for, how everyone does their laundry, how to make the dry beans, etc.  In addition to the help we will be bringing to the school, our students will be learning invaluable insight into this country, their customs, and way of life.  We have already learned a lot!!!

The End of the End

I belive I left off with the last night of the orphanage.  This was a tough trip in many ways for everyone - students, adults, and our friends in Cambodia.  After almost two weeks of hard work, we had a couple days with which to experience the culture of Cambodia more thoroughly.  I know that our students appreciated these much deserved rewards, but I could tell everyone's hearts were still at the orphanage.

Our last day in the country was Wednesday; all afternoon we packed and held our closing meetings with each student.  Towards 5 o'clock a few visitors arrived to say their goodbyes: Raksmey, Meng, and Sothy (two wonderful translators and Raksmey on the way back from a dental appt), and also a few friends of LM's from years past.  The plan was to meet "Mama" and "Papa" - the couple who run the orphanage -  and send Raksmey with them, as the airport is about half way between the orphanage and our guesthouse.

After a long goodbye at the guesthouse, our entire gang enters the van one last time for our journey to the airport.  As we pull up, Lisa Marie sees "Mama;" I am looking at the crowd at the airport and cannot see her.  What I do see is two heads peaking out from behind a large column.  All of a sudden the voices in the car are exclaiming in disbelief as almost half of the children from the orphanage come running out to greet us.  This was the best suprise one could have asked for.  It felt as though we couldn't exit the van fast enough - the excitement was boiling out and the door was a blockade between us and our suprise visitors.

Tears and homemade bracelets flowed freely.  We hugged and greeted all the children while "Mama" (Som Anh) presented Lisa Marie and the gang, as well as the previous group, with a certificate of appreciation for all the work that had been done at the orphanage.  I couldn't always read Mama's thoughts while at the orphanage, but tonight it was clear how grateful everyone was to have had us.

The mere fact that all of these children were there to meet us was a miracle; I kept asking myself how everyone got there - I asked a few of the boys, but everyone was too excited to explain such minor details to me.  It is still unclear to me how everyon arrived at the airport, but I can only think of two motos and a tuk-tuk that had to have been overflowing with happy souls the entire journey there.

This was the sweetest suprise, but then reality hit - Jenna it's time to be an adult and tear our students away from the hugs, as we still had a flight to catch - not an easy feat.  Jana had already gotten a few students inside, and I started asking as politely as possible for students to enter the airport one by one.  I didn't want to leave either, which made my requests for students to enter the airport seem even more rediculous.  We got everyone inside, checked in, and then the goodbyes started all over again through the window.  My heart was being ripped out of my chest once again.

I love people watching.  Throughout my 27 years I have determined that the airport is by far one of the best places for this activity.  Everyone has seen the heartbreaking goodbyes that happen at airports - the interactions that are so heartfelt they draw everyone's attention.  I have watched them many times, but never been under the spotlight so blatantly. People were moving out of our students' path for the window - seeming a bit upset at first, but then joining in the tears and taking pictures of the entire scene.  This was probably the hardest part of the goodbyes, as there would be no more hugs, etc.  The crowd followed our path on the opposite side of the window until we went up an escalator.  There was silence; only the occasional direction about the upcoming security line.  

Everyone was awestruck.  A goodbye at an airport does not seem like an extraordinary act in the United States, but in Cambodia this was amazing.  I re-played this scene in my head many times over, and so badly wanted to stay.  I am aware of this impossibility at this point, and have told myself how lucky everyone involved has been to have had this experience.  My grateful heart brings back nothing but positive thoughts towards the future and an open soul to welcome every opportunity in life.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me and this effort over the past  7 months.  Your efforts have been utilized to their fullest potential.  This is technically the end of my Cambodian journey, but I have the feeling more words need to make their way out.   

Jenna Ileen

The Beginning of the End

This blog has not been exactly what I had intended it to be, but much of my experience here in Cambodia can be summed up through the story of our last night here....I will start with the beginning of the end:


Our last night at the orphanage was Saturday.  We ran around during the day to collect food and supplies for the EPIC party for the kids (and adults!).  This entire day left me with a strange taste.  We arrived at the CPO orphanage as usual, with a crowded welcoming, many hugs, hand holding, and smiles.  This was a farmiliar feeling, consistent through the entire week, but no one could help that feeling deep inside that this would be an inevitable, heartbreaking goodbye.  Jana (my co-chaperone and tween advisor) and I started channeling our artisitc abilities to create a HUGE collage of pictures from the past two weeks while Lisa Marie (CGO founder and leader of the pack) brought a  sore-toothed Raksmey to an emergency dental appointment.  Meanwhile the students kept the whole place busy with new art supplies, balloons, silly spray, and the like.  We finished the collage just in time to catch the first act of the show.  This "show" was something I had heard about, and seen practiced here and there between activities, but did not realize just how professional these children and young adults are.  The children at the ophanage practice traditional Khmer dances weekly and perform this talent at celebrations and weddings for needed income.  This performance was the perfect act of grattitude, so beautiful I could feel my heart melting to the floor. The grace with which the young women danced amazed me.  Not every child performs regularly, but this special day was for everyone to show off their talents -  we also had -the privilege to encounter some hip-hop and the chicken dance from the younger ones. The stage was filled with smiles and beauty!  This was truly the best act of grattitude any of us could have asked for. 

The night continued after this with more dancing (dance party Cambodian style) and amazing fried chicken, salad, apples, and donuts.  Everyone ate until they were uncomfortably full, and LM made sure everyone received their soymilk for added nutrition!  The night continued with fun and chatter, with excited voices, laughter and smiles!  The party supplies had been divided into "daytime fun" and "nighttime fun."  As the sun set and the glowing party supplies became more appropriate, we gathered our students in the office to prepare glow sticks, ballons, and noise makers; this is also when the presentation of the collage was planned.  After propper preparation, 8 enthusiastic students erupted from the small office and returned to the stage area swinging glowing necklaces, sticks, and balloons, while overpowering the music with noisemakers.  Kids went bananas!  Such excitement added to an otherwise lightless night - at 7 pm I believe this is already approaching bedtime.  We also presented the framed collage at this time.  This was the obvious time to say a few words, with the help of Sothy (amazingly helpful translator), expressing our grattitude to the entire group for the love they had shown us and the relationships that had been built.  This is where Lisa Marie and a few heartfelt students, by way of Sothy, expressed the love we felt and how amazing everyone is.  The sentent expressed by the students was that even though we would no longer be together, they would never forget the chilren there, and that they would always consider themselves brothers and sisters.  The sobbing wasn't scheduled until later in the night, but made an early arrival at this point.  Children at CPO have experienced this routine before.  CGA's first group of student volunteers had left about 2 weeks prior, which was devistating, but we were the replicements.  This time there is no group replacing us.  The children had been here before and knew exactly what was happening.

The flood gates opened.

I have never in my life witnessed such intense feeling and so much emotion in one tiny space.  The overwhelming sound of tears lasted for about an hour, which was excruciating.  The strangest part was that the emotions came from every angle - This had been a life-changing experience for our students. They learned a wide array of lessons from new types of toilets and an extremely different lifestyle to emotions they had possibly never before felt -  who knew we could all fall in love so easily?  The children at the orpahange had witnessed an array of new things as well.  They fell in love, felt special, helped with projects that don't happen regularly, received medical treatment, knew that there are people outside of their immediate surroundings who cared deeply for their wellbeing.  While this low-pitched, steady sound of emotion surrounded us, Lisa Marie and I tried to stay busy in the office cleaning, tidying, and organizing supplies to be left at CPO, all while a steady flow of children filtered in and out of the office, or simply stayed with us in the "happy room."  Outside of the office was overwhelming - and I must admit my avoidance of the situation.  After what felt like an eternity, Jack (our second tuk-tuk driver) arrived and we peeled unwilling students away from their new friends.  The tuk-tuk home felt like an eternity.  I believe there were more than a few restless minds Saturday night at the Tattoo Guesthouse.

As for me: I have helped many students and children in my time, but very few without parents.  These children have been forced to grow up, take responsibility, and separate daily life from the idea of parents.  The situations all vary, but with every child there has been loss - whether their mother lives in the nearby slums, or hasn't been heard from in years.  This experience has changed my soul.  I went into this journey with an inherent concern for the children at the orphanage, but a bit more focused on what I could predict and what I knew - how our students would react, and what they would learn.  I went into this more concerned with heightening the experience for our students and ensuring that it was the most enlightening thing they had experienced thus far in their 12-14 years on this earth, as if I had already experienced these feelings and knew what to expect.  Wrong -  This was entirely different from teaching and mentoring I have done in the past.  Leaving that night and not knowing when, if ever, I would see these amazing people again was a very strange thing. 

To be continued.....

Student Blogs and Jenna's thoughts

Please check out student blogs:


Anna:

http://journeytoacambodianorphanage.blogspot.com/

Camryn:

http://camrynscambodia.blogspot.com/

Zoe

http://zozoincambodia.blogspot.com/

Nikko:

http://nikkocambodia.blogspot.com/

Mallory:

http://mallorysmissioncambodia.blogspot.com/

Bret:

http://bretscambodiablogtravel.blogspot.com/

Ava:

http://avacambodia.blogspot.com/

Alex:

http://cambodiaalex.blogspot.com/

Lisa Marie:

http://childrensglobalalliance.blogspot.com/



 Tired Thoughts: 

Oh my goodness.  I need to outline and think harder than possible at 10 pm in order to write this blog.  Quick and dirty:  I am immensely grateful to be here with an amazing group of young adults (and old adults) to experience the culture of the Cambodian people and have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of so many children.  The exhaustion I am currently experiencing is proof that we have been working/playing/dancing our butts off; the fact that I cannot think straight at this time of night is also proof of the eye opening, thought provoking experience I have had here.  My mind is currently racing thinking of kids- The questions I have are all intertwined between our dear students  from the Vail Valley and the students and children we are meeting here in Cambodia. 

Food for thought:

What level education will the Cambodian children receive?
Do students in the United States (and other areas of the world) realize how fortunate we are to have an organized education system?  
How do genocides occur (yes Sara, we did teach this last semester, but it is still mind boggling)?
What would Cambodia be like if the Khmer Rouge had never taken over? 
How many children go to sleep at night without a hug?
What are our students' thoughts/feelings that will surface by the end of this trip?
What happens when children in the orphanage get sick?
How will this experience change outlook on material objects in the lives of our students?
What happens when funding doesn't come for some of these orphanages?
Will the culture shock be more extreme entering Cambodia or returning to the United States? (one of my favorite points to ponder while traveling)

The largest lesson I have learned, or re-learned thus far is this: Nothing is ever so awful that you can't smile (constantly a Jerry Hagen lesson - thanks Dad).  We can make the glass half full and look for the good, bright spots in less than ideal situations.  The children we have the pleasure of working with do not have much, but are delightful, happy children; I never knew there were so many ways to play with wooden sticks!  Each student at CPO (I'll fill you all in on that later) has a tiny dresser, but is so proud of that dresser containing ALL of their earthly belongings.

I will end this blog with a quote (as I recall it) from a student on our 26+ hour journey to Phnom Penh:
"I have decided that nothing and no one will stop me from making this trip amazing." The sentiment is clearly that we make life what we want it to be.  Students and adults alike can always make their lives exactly what they want it to be - whether it is simply making the decision to change an attitude or situation, or taking an entirely different life path, it is all within reach.

I promise I will fill you all in on the details tomorrow, as this was a late-night blog (10:50 PM - I am either getting old, not used to the time change, or the energy from the environment and students is amazingly tiring!).

Thank you to all of my friends, family, and Children's Global Alliance for all of your support - I love and cherish you all!

Jenna Ileen

that "moment"

Today is 72 degrees and sunny - I am impatiently waiting for the time when I walk onto a plane with 7 awesome kids to begin a journey of service, learning, compassion, teaching, and self-reflection.  Working with these students and the children we have yet to meet will be an amazing experience.  I clearly remember the first time I experienced a people with a lifestyle so drastically different from mine (my upbringing being a middle class, rural mid-western, and a quite sheltered existence... all of which I cherish).  While walking the streets of Marrakesh, Morocco one of my travel companions sat down on the curb of a busy street and wept; I did not understand at first why she was crying - but then looked around to actually absorb some of what we were seeing.  From the children working on the streets to the all-encompassing poverty we were surrounded by, everything hits at once.  This moment in time is representative of one of my fist experiences with a culture so dramatically different than mine and emotions one feels when put in an unfarmiliar situation with an overwhelming amount of information of the human experience.  My youthful naive spirit was forever changed and opened to understand the beautiful aspects of life that survive in absence of material things.  I can't wait to witness and guide this moment for the lucky students who will undoubtedly have a "moment" of their own.

The journey of fundraising has been interesting and has taught me about what type of front-work needs to be done in order to complete these types of missions.  The fundraiser at Dish went well and amazing people donated time, services, and goods to the event.  This helped me realize how many giving people there are out there and how many various ways exist to give back to your local and global community.  I want to thank all the parents, community members, students, and businesses who made it happen.  Lisa Marie has worked her butt off to make this happen and deserves a round of applause (insert round of applause here).  Thanks for all who donated time, effort, and $$$ to the event and to the organization.  It is not too late, if you'd still like to donate, just visit http://www.childrensglobalalliance.com/ and click on "DONATE" at the bottom right of your screen; tickets to Cambodia are $500 more than expected and we could use any donation -  large or small - to get students over there.  There is an army of people who would be forever grateful!


Until next time,
Jenna Ileen

PASSPORT FOR A PURPOSE FuNdRaiSer

BIG funraiser is today at DISH in Edwards.  We will have an around the world culinary tour and silent auction.  If you haven't already bought a ticket, we have a few left at the door.  I am nervous and EXCITED -  I hope we can reach our goal!!  For those of you who are not here in the Rockies, I would love for you to learn more at http://www.childrensglobalalliance.com/ ; if you'd like to help out from wherever in the world you are, there is a DONATE button at the bottom of the homepage.    It is an amazing organization created by a friend of mine, Lisa Marie.  She has done an amazing job getting kids from this valley overseas to help those in need.  This summer we have two trips to Cambodia to help an orphanage, and one to Rivas, Nicaragua, to work with a school for kids with special needs.  Better get to DISH - Can't wait!

Sad Heart

My heart is sad today.  Some things are incomprehensible; I don't know why bad things happen; I don't know why suffering happens.  The world has been blessed to know Karina, her strength, and her courage.  Some events elicit self-questioning, universe-questioning, meaning of life-questioning.  A conversation with an old friend in an un-certain situation, cut short by circumstances, has changed my life and outlook today.  What are the important things in life?  I feel I've been asking myself this question repeatedly for way too long with no real desire to find the correct answer.   My answer today is PEOPLE.  This may appear to be the obvious answer, but why, then, do we fail to make contact when it is most imortant?  Why do we think we will write that card, call, or text "tomorrow."  In many cases this is one of my least favorite words.  Karina -  today my heart is sad.  The world is less without you.  I am also regretful that I have not made an effort to be a better person - a person who wrote that card or called more often. This is something I cannot do "tomorrow." Katie, I love you.

Beginner Blogger

So I like to journal; that should equate to an ability to blog, right?  I'm not so sure about that - but all the students I am accompanying to Cambodia and Nicaragua this summer are required to keep a blog of their travels and I am trying to keep up with them - if an 8th grader can do it.... wow I'm old.  Well with this first post, I'd like to start out with letting everyone know the purpose for the blog - A friend of mine started this organization, Children's Global Alliance, and last year was the first service trip to Cambodia.  The goal is to give youth in this valley an opportunity to experience another culture, language, etc... but above all, to help children elsewhere and gain an understanding of differing ways of life ... to understand how important it is to give back.  We will be working in an orphanage in Cambodia from June 29-July 16 and also with a school for children with special needs in Nicaragua July 28-August 7.  I am so excited to be a part of this experience - I know how much giving back has enriched my life and can't wait to see this transform my new friends lives at such a young age!

For now, my blogs will probably entail new developments -  fundraising news, current feelings, etc.  All of the students have to raise their own money, as do the adults.  We have a large event March 4th at Dish in Edwards, and I am currently brainstorming ways in which to funraise funds for myself -  if you have an amazing idea, let me know!

I am grateful to have the opportunity to to travel to far away places for such an amazing cause.  Here's the link:  http://www.childrensglobalalliance.com/